There is a real tedium and grinding labor to parenting small children. It involves hassles like bottle washing, endless loads of laundry, or contorting your body to pick up the crayon that fell underneath the plane seat in front of you, again and again and again. For the past seven years, most of that labor has been borne by Yani, our caretaker, cook, cleaner, pet sitter, gardener, travel companion, and friend.
Born and raised in East Java, Indonesia, on lush farmland that grows bananas, papayas and other fruit, Yani moved abroad when she was 18 to take on more lucrative work than she could find near home. She worked as a domestic helper in Singapore, then returned to Indonesia briefly to await another placement, which led her to Taichung, Taiwan, caring for my grandparents.
My grandma taught her to speak Mandarin and to make all kinds of Northern Chinese dishes and dumplings from scratch. She ended her stint in Taiwan after a few years to return to Indonesia, where she got married and eventually had a baby, in That year, I gave birth to Isabel , in Seoul, and, given my unpredictable travel schedule as a foreign correspondent, needed additional help at home.
Luna arrived less than two years later. Yani has nurtured Luna since before she was born. Yani and Luna in the kitchen in Seoul, summer My memories of Luna during that time were always of her plopped on a counter. As we transitioned from a family of four, to a family of five, traveled constantly across the Asia region and beyond, hosted numerous guests and gatherings, marked birthdays, holidays, lost tooths, and other passages, grieved various cat goodbyes and welcomed new kittens, managed the international move to Los Angeles , two house moves since coming back, a COVID crisis, lockdown and the logistical hassles of divorcing amid a pandemic , Yani has stayed the steady presence.
She makes all the lunches, mops all the floors, cooks all the dinners, puts away all the groceries, waters all the plants, changes the litter, makes all the beds, and always knows where all the loveys are. She is the night time sitter when we all go on vacations, unpacks my suitcases every time I return from a trip, makes all the scallion pancakes from scratch.
