I am packing my suitcase the night before flying to Oslo for a spa break at The Well when my phone rings. Look at the website β they are all naked! It is all naked! You are taking me to a naked place! I immediately cease folding clothes and look at the website. I phone her back for crisis talk.
Fixed on our plan of remaining at least semi-clothed, the next day we arrive at The Well after a fifty-minute drive from Oslo airport and are immediately impressed by the setup. After lunch on the first day at the Brasseriet the baked polenta with caramelised carrots was exceptional , we head into the darkest room in the spa, a womb-like enclosure flooded with deep red light, clutching our little peshtemals provided by The Well like life vests.
Everyone is unclothed, and when we leave for a sip of water, we have a chat and decide that covering ourselves feels more conspicuous. We resolve to brave it, and start by releasing our bodies from the waist up. At this point, I steal a glance around me and realise that the crowd is motley; vastly ranging in age, size, colour, and texture.
Over dinner at Scandi-Asian restaurant Mori, where we have the tasting menu complete with wine pairing, we decide to go for it for the remainder of our stay and that what happens at The Well will remain at The Well. The next day, we are both much less bashful, and immerse ourselves in hopping starkers from sauna to steam room and experience things like a woman putting scented ice balls on the hot stones for a shot of invigorating lemongrass or calming lavender to expand throughout the sauna.
One hurdle remains: daylight nakedness. It was a fear to overcome if we were to enjoy the icy outdoor swimming pool for cold plunging, jacuzzis, and the aforementioned forest walk. But there I was, one of the many fleshy forms just enjoying the water and forest, surprisingly unfazed. On the flight home, we both remarked on how very dressed we were, and how small a deal being fully naked had been β and how liberated we'd felt by not worrying about which shoes went with which jeans and whether we needed another layer in which to brave the weather.
